Fundraisers For Andrew Parker Tambellini's Meet and Greet
Come enjoy a night of great eating, wonderful music, and a night out with Andrew Parker at the great restaraunt Tambilini's on October 27th. You can meet the future President during a casual Italian Buffet style dinner. We have scheduled a short question and answer session for you to find out more information about your favorite Presidential Candidate, Andrew Parker. Menu options for the guests will be spaghetti and meatballs, shrimp alfredo, or chicken florentine. The charge for food will be $1,500 to our campaign, including the live entertainment of the one and only Kanye West, who gave us an extremely considerable discount. A maximum of 100 Tickets will be sold at $500 each, and please give tips to the waiters. This event should be a great sucess because there a lot of Italians who have the same ideals and understandings that Andrew Parker does around the Pittsburgh area, so we expect a full house. Order your tickets now at 1-800-VOTEPKR. Max two tickets per family. Special shoutout to Greg Anderson for allowing us to use the Tambellini restaurant for free. (We love you Greg:) The FEC has determined that this event will raise $50,000
Hot Dog Eating Contest
If you are looking for a fun time, come on down to the 2012 Annual Andrew Parker Hot Dog Eating Contest at South Park on October 1st. Compare yourself to All-American Champion for the last 6 years, Joey Chestnut as you see how many franks you can beef down in ten minutes. Speak to and see your future president Andrew Parker devour weeners left and right, up and down, and even sideways. This will be a nationally broadcasted event on ESPN, so you most likely will be on TV. If our canidate does not puke from the festivities, he will make an aspiring speech to all the party-goers there and announce the 2012 Annual Andrew Parker Hot Dog Eating Contest winner. First place receives $1,000 and second and third receives $500. A performance by Skrillex and Zedd will proceed after the award ceremony. A $20 bill at the gate will get you an all day-pass. Order your tickets now for a discounted rate of $10 by calling 1-800-VOTEPKR. Donations are welcome. We are expecting to raise $50,000 from the night. $30,000 will be spent by our campaign. Costs of the entire event for the campaign are detailed in the table below. Special thanks to ESPN, WFE, Nathan's, Heinz, French's, and Tower Records for making this possible. The FEC has determined that this event will raise $55,000.
Item
Cost
Total Cost
Joey Chestnut
$1,000
$1,000
*Hot Dogs(10,000)
$7,000
$8,000
`Condiments
$2,000
$10,000
Other Food Related
$500
$10,500
^Skrillex
$10,000
$20,500
^Zedd
$5,000
$25,500
Security
$500
$26,000
'Television
Free
$26,000
Awards
$2,000
$28,000
Venue
$2,000
$30,000
*Nathan's discount `Heinz and French's discounts 'Courtesy of ESPN and the WFE ^Slight discount by Tower Records Get Your Anything Washed By Andrew Parker
Got a dirty car? How about a truck or SUV? Maybe your dog smells bad? Did your laundry guy go bankrupt? Dirty mind maybe? If you said yes to any of these questions, you should come to the presidential car wash held at Brusters from Nov. 3 - Nov. 6. We guarantee you we'll wash anything you want. Give our team of elite community service Peters Township's volunteering high school students 30 minutes to clean it or money back. Feel free to bring your smart cars, space shuttles, babies, port-o-jons, criminal records, and/or even an albino flamingo if you have one. It really doesn't matter what it is, but we will somehow find a way to clean it. Donations welcome. Meet the man himself, Andrew Parker, while you wait for your anything to be washed. $30 per item to be washed. We expect to spend $500 on supplies and $500 on advertising. We expect to raise $50,000 over the three day period. Special thanks to Brusters, who has allowed us to use their store as a base. The FEC has determined that this event will raise $55,000.
Watch Andrew Parker Wrestle A Bear
Are you not sure about how tough your presidential canidate is? Are you still scared about Pumpkin the Bear that escaped the Indy Zoo last month? Then come watch Andrew Parker single-handedly take down Pumpkin WWE style on November 8th at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. Be one of the 67,000 voters in the stadium to experience the triumph and awe that is Andrew Parker. Spectate him through 3 rounds of all-out mayhem of human versus nature at its finest. Don't like politics? That's okay. This one time event is great for celebrating birthdays, anniversaires, bar mitzvahs, funerals, annual get-togethers, high school reunions, extreme pre-tailgating, orthodox Christmas, National Ample Time Day, National Cook Something Bold and Pugnent Day, or even National Parents as Teachers Day. Tickets vary from $10 - $50 depending on the seat location. Donations are welcome. Parking is not guaranteed. The campaign will spend approximately $32,000 on the stadium and another $3,000 on miscellaneous functions. We expect to raise $2,010,000 off tickets sales and another $50,000 from donations. To order tickets now, call 1-800-VOTEPKR. Special thanks to the Indy Zoo, who let us keep Pumpkin the Bear for an extra week.
This is a video of the fight.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $60,000.
The Tournament Of The Century
Remember that time when you thought you were the (Inappropriate word - lose $10,000) when you beat your friend 2-0 at rock-paper-scissors? Now is the time to redeem yourself. See if you can outmatch, outhink, and outperform our future president, Andrew Parker. Express your skills and enter the largest and high-stakes RPS tournament ever in the history of the world at the football field in Peterswood Park on November 9th. Join RPS greats like Andrew Bladon, Jamie Burland, Tom Wilkinson and Joe Kenny as you battle in a best of 3 tournament for the glittering MegaTrophy and a hefty cash prize. Food will be provided in between rounds. The winner receives $10,000 and the runner-up receives $5,000. Donations are welcome. Proceeds of the tournament go to Andrew Parker's campaign fund. Registration begins at 1 P.M. and ends at 5 P.M. No late registration is allowed. Buy in is set at $200. All Participants must pay at the sign-up table located next to the bathrooms. No Exceptions. The campaign plans to spend around $10,000 and expects to receive $40,000 from entries and $5,000 from donations. No Pets Allowed. The FEC has determined that this event will raise $40,000.
Karaoke Night With Andrew Parker
Do you have a passion for singing, because Andrew Parker does. Test your vocals against his, pitch by pitch, harmony against harmony, voice verus voice. Go head to head on songs like "I Got A Pocketful Of Sunshine" by Natasha Beningfield, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper, "Night In Paris" by Kanye West and Jay-Z, and, of course, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jespen. See if you can beat his classically trained voice mono e mono in the ring at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh. To decide the victor, we've brought in all four judges from the hit TV show, "The Voice", and Simon Cowell. This team of elite performers will decide on an unbiased opinion who's hot and who's not. Each song costs $1,000 per person. Preregister your spot now by calling 1-800-VOTEPKR. Our campaign expects to spend $20,000 in total. The battles start November 10th and end November 12th. Donations are welcome. Projections show our campaign recieving $150,000 in profit. Special thanks to the Consol Energy Center for allowing us to use their facility for free. The FEC has determined that this event will raise $60,000.
Tambellini's Meet and Greet
Come enjoy a night of great eating, wonderful music, and a night out with Andrew Parker at the great restaraunt Tambilini's on October 27th. You can meet the future President during a casual Italian Buffet style dinner. We have scheduled a short question and answer session for you to find out more information about your favorite Presidential Candidate, Andrew Parker. Menu options for the guests will be spaghetti and meatballs, shrimp alfredo, or chicken florentine. The charge for food will be $1,500 to our campaign, including the live entertainment of the one and only Kanye West, who gave us an extremely considerable discount. A maximum of 100 Tickets will be sold at $500 each, and please give tips to the waiters. This event should be a great sucess because there a lot of Italians who have the same ideals and understandings that Andrew Parker does around the Pittsburgh area, so we expect a full house. Order your tickets now at 1-800-VOTEPKR. Max two tickets per family. Special shoutout to Greg Anderson for allowing us to use the Tambellini restaurant for free. (We love you Greg:)
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $50,000
Hot Dog Eating Contest
If you are looking for a fun time, come on down to the 2012 Annual Andrew Parker Hot Dog Eating Contest at South Park on October 1st. Compare yourself to All-American Champion for the last 6 years, Joey Chestnut as you see how many franks you can beef down in ten minutes. Speak to and see your future president Andrew Parker devour weeners left and right, up and down, and even sideways. This will be a nationally broadcasted event on ESPN, so you most likely will be on TV. If our canidate does not puke from the festivities, he will make an aspiring speech to all the party-goers there and announce the 2012 Annual Andrew Parker Hot Dog Eating Contest winner. First place receives $1,000 and second and third receives $500. A performance by Skrillex and Zedd will proceed after the award ceremony. A $20 bill at the gate will get you an all day-pass. Order your tickets now for a discounted rate of $10 by calling 1-800-VOTEPKR. Donations are welcome. We are expecting to raise $50,000 from the night. $30,000 will be spent by our campaign. Costs of the entire event for the campaign are detailed in the table below. Special thanks to ESPN, WFE, Nathan's, Heinz, French's, and Tower Records for making this possible.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $55,000.
`Heinz and French's discounts
'Courtesy of ESPN and the WFE
^Slight discount by Tower Records
Get Your Anything Washed By Andrew Parker
Got a dirty car? How about a truck or SUV? Maybe your dog smells bad? Did your laundry guy go bankrupt? Dirty mind maybe? If you said yes to any of these questions, you should come to the presidential car wash held at Brusters from Nov. 3 - Nov. 6. We guarantee you we'll wash anything you want. Give our team of elite community service Peters Township's volunteering high school students 30 minutes to clean it or money back. Feel free to bring your smart cars, space shuttles, babies, port-o-jons, criminal records, and/or even an albino flamingo if you have one. It really doesn't matter what it is, but we will somehow find a way to clean it. Donations welcome. Meet the man himself, Andrew Parker, while you wait for your anything to be washed. $30 per item to be washed. We expect to spend $500 on supplies and $500 on advertising. We expect to raise $50,000 over the three day period. Special thanks to Brusters, who has allowed us to use their store as a base.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $55,000.
Watch Andrew Parker Wrestle A Bear
Are you not sure about how tough your presidential canidate is? Are you still scared about Pumpkin the Bear that escaped the Indy Zoo last month? Then come watch Andrew Parker single-handedly take down Pumpkin WWE style on November 8th at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. Be one of the 67,000 voters in the stadium to experience the triumph and awe that is Andrew Parker. Spectate him through 3 rounds of all-out mayhem of human versus nature at its finest. Don't like politics? That's okay. This one time event is great for celebrating birthdays, anniversaires, bar mitzvahs, funerals, annual get-togethers, high school reunions, extreme pre-tailgating, orthodox Christmas, National Ample Time Day, National Cook Something Bold and Pugnent Day, or even National Parents as Teachers Day. Tickets vary from $10 - $50 depending on the seat location. Donations are welcome. Parking is not guaranteed. The campaign will spend approximately $32,000 on the stadium and another $3,000 on miscellaneous functions. We expect to raise $2,010,000 off tickets sales and another $50,000 from donations. To order tickets now, call 1-800-VOTEPKR. Special thanks to the Indy Zoo, who let us keep Pumpkin the Bear for an extra week.
This is a video of the fight.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $60,000.
The Tournament Of The Century
Remember that time when you thought you were the (Inappropriate word - lose $10,000) when you beat your friend 2-0 at rock-paper-scissors? Now is the time to redeem yourself. See if you can outmatch, outhink, and outperform our future president, Andrew Parker. Express your skills and enter the largest and high-stakes RPS tournament ever in the history of the world at the football field in Peterswood Park on November 9th. Join RPS greats like Andrew Bladon, Jamie Burland, Tom Wilkinson and Joe Kenny as you battle in a best of 3 tournament for the glittering MegaTrophy and a hefty cash prize. Food will be provided in between rounds. The winner receives $10,000 and the runner-up receives $5,000. Donations are welcome. Proceeds of the tournament go to Andrew Parker's campaign fund. Registration begins at 1 P.M. and ends at 5 P.M. No late registration is allowed. Buy in is set at $200. All Participants must pay at the sign-up table located next to the bathrooms. No Exceptions. The campaign plans to spend around $10,000 and expects to receive $40,000 from entries and $5,000 from donations. No Pets Allowed.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $40,000.
Karaoke Night With Andrew Parker
Do you have a passion for singing, because Andrew Parker does. Test your vocals against his, pitch by pitch, harmony against harmony, voice verus voice. Go head to head on songs like "I Got A Pocketful Of Sunshine" by Natasha Beningfield, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper, "Night In Paris" by Kanye West and Jay-Z, and, of course, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jespen. See if you can beat his classically trained voice mono e mono in the ring at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh. To decide the victor, we've brought in all four judges from the hit TV show, "The Voice", and Simon Cowell. This team of elite performers will decide on an unbiased opinion who's hot and who's not. Each song costs $1,000 per person. Preregister your spot now by calling 1-800-VOTEPKR. Our campaign expects to spend $20,000 in total. The battles start November 10th and end November 12th. Donations are welcome. Projections show our campaign recieving $150,000 in profit. Special thanks to the Consol Energy Center for allowing us to use their facility for free.
The FEC has determined that this event will raise $60,000.